Pull my finger

Some of you are going to be soooo offended. But in this family farts are funny.

Invite an 8 year old boy to watch this with you and witness him lose his ever-lovin' mind.

Merry Christmas and Happy Dutch Ovens.

Can I make them MORE weird?

This is an open solicitation on your thoughts about homeschooling. No, I haven't been drinking (yet).

Amazing.

The Pentatonic Scale - the great equalizer. It is a musical scale with five pitches per octave as compared to the major scale which is made up of seven distinct notes.

I love learning new things, especially when God is revealed in the knowledge



Thanks Megan!

Using ALL my fingers...

Today is our 10 year wedding anniversary. I spent some of the day thinking about what I would do differently knowing what I know now. I wouldn't use that caterer who only spoke Latvian. I wouldn't have penciled in my already dark eyebrows. I would rethink the dress and definitely the shoes. I would have asked my brother to not bring that date. I would not have had that spare cooler stocked with beer under the groomsmen's table. I would've known that I shouldn't hire the guy with the navy limo. I would have paid more for the pictures and less for the flowers. I wouldn't hire an ex-boyfriend to be the DJ.

But one thing I would never ever change was the man I married. God is good. He has spared me from myself and blessed me with Gary as a partner in this life. It would take me forever to list his attributes and all that he is to me, and we have PLANS tonight... but for fits and giggles I thought I would leave you all with some pictures - 10 years later:


Yeah baby - it still fits (AND I'm bloated)!

She wanted to wear the 'leg thing' but she settled for the veil...

Sniffing Glue

Okay, it's only Elmer's School Glue, but it can make little girls sooooo happy.



Livi and her friend Gracie (Leah's daughter) spent Saturday together and we started in on some Christmas crafts. The foam angels are a wee bit dopey, but the Christmas Trees with button ornaments were a hit.

All that was needed was a pre-cut tree from Michael's (50 cents), some green paint, brown paint, lots of buttons and, of course, the Elmer's glue.


Didn't you just love doing stuff like this when you were 5? Let me know if you have any good easy craft ideas. (Um, and I don't sew or do scrapbooking, so I do mean EASY!)

It's the last day of November and...

We got elfed!

Happy Turkey Day

Our demonstration of what NOT to do after your big meal...

I am so very thankful for my little turkies. Actually I meant turkeys. That would be the proper plural. (Leah...)

Just Desserts

So a few days ago Gary had sent me a news article about the most expensive dessert in the world. It costs $25,000. Plus tip.

Ridiculous on so many levels - I won't even go there (gluttony, materialism, how many students sponsorships that would be...). But what I did find as gut-busting funny was that 3 days later I came across this follow up item:

Popular NYC Eatery Shut Down For Rodents
NEW YORK - While serendipity may be the art of finding pleasant things by chance, what health inspectors found at celebrated eatery Serendipity 3 was not very agreeable.

Officials closed the restaurant Wednesday night after it failed its second inspection in a month. An inspector spotted a live mouse and mouse droppings, fruit flies, house flies and more than 100 live cockroaches.

"Both inspections revealed rodent and fly infestation and conditions conducive to pest infestation, including stagnant water in the basement," the department said.

People stand in line for hours outside the Manhattan restaurant, known for its extravagant and expensive desserts. Its $25,000 Frrrozen Haute Chocolate features top-grade cocoa, edible gold and shavings of a luxury truffle and was declared the most expensive dessert in the world by Guinness World Records. The eatery also offers a $1,000 sundae named Golden Opulence requiring 48-hour advance notice.

Calculating the Risks

Would you fight and work for something if you thought you wouldn't win?


I highly recommend this latest post from the Livesay Tribe - missionaries in Haiti. It has a great song by Sara Groves too.

"The concept of fighting ONLY when you think you can win is one of the things that strikes us --- if everyone only did what seemed like a probable win ... well, that would rule out a whole heck of a lot of things -- it is worth losing over and over again because sometime in some small way there will be victory ---and even if the victories are few and far between ... it is worth it."

16 down

314 to go.


Three Angels Christian Academy needs School Sponsors. The commitment is $27 a month. Everything is automatic and done online. Couldn't be easier. I can send you a brochure if you would like or you can visit the website to learn more.

To make it interesting - what else costs $27? I'll start:

• A movie date with my husband with small popcorn . (Tickets are $10.50 out here people!)
• LEGO Star Wars Naboo N-1 Starfighter with Vulture Droid (that is Calvin's entry)
• A pedicure with tip but without the sandpaper treatment for my calluses.
• "You on a Diet" book that I really need to read.
• A case and a half of Celebration Ale (that is Gary's entry)
• This REALLY cute sweater at The Gap. Okay - actually that is 2 months worth...
  
• 7.8 Gallons of gas - have you SEEN the prices lately!
  

Your turn!

Big day in the Hoffmann House

Today my daughter read her first book all by herself. I am bloated with pride!

The Obligatory

...Halloween post:

(guess which one is Cal's)

Throwin' a bone to the G-force out there

I must apologize to the Grandparents for not posting more pictures of my own children lately. Here are some recent ones to tide you over!

Oh yeah, and one of Gary that I found in his parent's old house!

Who does he look like???

New Favorite

The following quote by Theodore Roosevelt was posted as a response to an article written about the Indiana families adopting through Three Angels Children's Relief. I wanted to highlight it here for my partners in crime.

When the doubters, the nay-sayers, the complainers and the 'why-aren't-you-doing-this' comments start weighing heavily, just come back and read this doozy:


"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

"Citizenship in a Republic,"
Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910

Not sure it is entirely theologically sound, but it sure seems to make sense!

Dress for Success

Since our church is focused on Living on Mission within our own community and culture, I though it would be helpful to post these guidelines written by our favorite Missionaries in Haiti, Angela and Carsen. I'll be embracing this wisdom as I tackle the front lines at the Valencia Mall.

"How to Dress Like A Missionary"

• Please wear a long skirt.
• If a long skirt is not available, you may consider wearing a dress underneath your tee shirt.
• Please wear a conservative top - keep your straps under wraps.
• Sandals are acceptable. However, as you never know what terrain you may come across, you may be more comfortable in tennis shoes.
• To keep your hair cool and off your neck, you may consider the french braid, a simple but elegant hair-do. A bun high on the head is an acceptable alternative.
• To identify yourself as a Christian a cross necklace can help bridge the language barrier.
• Carrying a bible may also be useful in case of emergency conversion issues.
  
• Please see attached photo for further explanation!

Well...

What would YOU pack if you had to fit everything you wanted to own in the back of a minivan?

(yes - I won't forget the children...)

Waiting to be evacuated as I type this.

Gary did a live report from our roof for KFI. I kinda think that's pimping out our peril for the sake of good radio...

Fierce Fires

This is a picture of the Malibu Presbyterian Church than burned to the ground yesterday. Indeed, it does feel like the end times around Southern California. The sun was blood red yesterday from all the smoke and haze. School was canceled today. Homes have been evacuated. The winds are gusting up to 70 mph which is spreading hot ash and embers resulting in more fires. There is NO humidity and it will be almost 100 degrees today. It is hot as H-E-double hockey sticks.

In Malibu the old Castle on the hill has burned down as well - but I love this quote I read in the LA Times today:

The castle belonged to Lilly Lawrence, the daughter of a former Iranian oil minister. She said she was able to gather a few things before the fire engulfed her home, including some jewelry and memorabilia that included Elvis Presley's Army fatigues.

She didn't seem too worried about losing most of her belongings in the fire.

"My parents taught me not to allow my possessions to posses me," Lawrence told KABC-TV. "So, that's the story. The house is a house."

She was able to say that about her castle - I hope I would be able to say that about my condo!

Please pray for our firefighters - they are all working on no sleep and with zero percent containment at this point. Please pray that these crazy warm winds die down. Please pray for safety. I can't imagine this air is good for the elderly or asthmatic... it hurts to breathe.

MORE PHOTOS

A Question for All you Lurkers

First, a little background:

My friend, we will call her Madame L, recently joined me on a trip to Three Angels and sent me this email a few days after we returned:

"How do you do it? How do you switch gears when you come home to 16 loads of laundry and, in my case, 4 whining kids who all of the sudden seem so darn ungrateful? My son actually told me today that he was starving to death, very dramatically I should add. It had been a whole 5 hours since he had eaten, and he has probably told me the same thing a hundred times before, but I wanted to throw him across the room this time. Instead, I gave him a short lecture on what starving to death actually might look like. Thinking about it, I realized how little the kids at the orphanage actually demanded. No one asked for juice every 5 minutes; they settled for a cup of water. No one complained about the food...I get to hear, "chicken again...I don't want chicken." All they asked for was a little attention and physical touch. As you can see, I'm having a little difficulty switching gears myself."

Sidenote: Honestly, I don't do it very well. The first week back is hard. I pretty much cry every day. Mostly from the overall stress and the overwhelming task lists, but there is usually one or two 'clinchers' every trip. This time I cried over a family that dissolved before my eyes and wondered how God was going to work it out. And I cried over a 2 year old girl that I held who didn't weigh more than 15 pounds. But hey, usually by day 4 I can pull it together enough to leave the house. (I just tell people I contracted pink-eye)

The transition back into suburbia isn't helped when my children seem extra ungrateful and churlish. My son, like Madame L's, often tells me he is STARVING! "Mom, we are out of Golden Grahams and I'm so hungry I can't stand it. I'm starving!" Seriously?!

Which brings me back to the original question I wanted to pose:

Is it unwise for me to show my almost-8-year-old son what starving really looks like? Too traumatic? Inappropriate? Will he be calling Dr. Phil when he is 17 and manorexic? I was thinking of printing out the following picture and laminating it to be used as a placemat for a certain redhead I know.

(and this was one of the more tame pictures)

Feedback?

Eye of the Needle

These are just some of the pictures from my last trip. I am so thankful to be able to share this experience - it can be difficult to explain to those who haven't been there. The people of Haiti have had an incredible impact on my perspective. I'm sure my friends will agree that you can never see things the same way again. Thanks for coming with me!



Hey please, just believe in me
Don't lose your hope so easily
Because passing through the eye of a needle
Isn't as easy as it sounds
For those like me

Nothing short of miracles
Can save a small and dying world
That offers no apologies
To lay their hopes and dreams asleep
But pray the Lord their goal to keep
But I still got a soul in me

-brandi carlile

A follow-up.

This is a little glimpse of what I mean: