My friend, we will call her Madame L, recently joined me on a trip to Three Angels and sent me this email a few days after we returned:
"How do you do it? How do you switch gears when you come home to 16 loads of laundry and, in my case, 4 whining kids who all of the sudden seem so darn ungrateful? My son actually told me today that he was starving to death, very dramatically I should add. It had been a whole 5 hours since he had eaten, and he has probably told me the same thing a hundred times before, but I wanted to throw him across the room this time. Instead, I gave him a short lecture on what starving to death actually might look like. Thinking about it, I realized how little the kids at the orphanage actually demanded. No one asked for juice every 5 minutes; they settled for a cup of water. No one complained about the food...I get to hear, "chicken again...I don't want chicken." All they asked for was a little attention and physical touch. As you can see, I'm having a little difficulty switching gears myself."
Sidenote: Honestly, I don't do it very well. The first week back is hard. I pretty much cry every day. Mostly from the overall stress and the overwhelming task lists, but there is usually one or two 'clinchers' every trip. This time I cried over a family that dissolved before my eyes and wondered how God was going to work it out. And I cried over a 2 year old girl that I held who didn't weigh more than 15 pounds. But hey, usually by day 4 I can pull it together enough to leave the house. (I just tell people I contracted pink-eye)
The transition back into suburbia isn't helped when my children seem extra ungrateful and churlish. My son, like Madame L's, often tells me he is STARVING! "Mom, we are out of Golden Grahams and I'm so hungry I can't stand it. I'm starving!" Seriously?!
Which brings me back to the original question I wanted to pose:
Is it unwise for me to show my almost-8-year-old son what starving really looks like? Too traumatic? Inappropriate? Will he be calling Dr. Phil when he is 17 and manorexic? I was thinking of printing out the following picture and laminating it to be used as a placemat for a certain redhead I know.
(and this was one of the more tame pictures)
13 comments:
I like the placemat idea...and if you or your redhead need it, I know the name of a good therapist.
Seriously though, how do we not feel a little angry...or for that matter, a little guilty that we have created ungrateful children? Maybe they learn it from their parents...
L.
oooh, l, that's a tough point! wow! as far as your manorexic 17-year-old, reality is what it is and sometimes we have to face it.
this is reality. poverty is real. starving children are real. share it with him, but maybe not as a placemat. i don't think you can educate your children too soon about how most of our world lives. and that is in poverty and malnourished.
I agree with You-You & Ashly. I have struggled with that myself since my July trip. I think Phoebe finally "gets it" that she's not starving.
not being a mom, i feel like i can't rightly give advice. but...i'll give my opinion anyway.....
i'd say yes, show him. but sit down and talk with him. show him what it means to be starving and to have nothing. that everything he has, that we have, is a gift from God. golden grahams are a gift!! will an almost-8-year-old understand this? can he comprehend it? i don't know. but it will plant something in him....
as for the placemat...i'm thinking i should print off that picture and make one for myself...
wow- maybe as parents we should look at our own responsibility as to what example we have been to our children.
I also do not think it is fair to come home & compare our children to those in haiti, & to assume that these children are never selfish & sinful is just not reality.
This is a great oppotunity to show God's love to them by sharing your experience, concern, convictions, & how God OPENED your eyes & has changed your heart & perspective on life w/ them.
That I think is better than " taking it out on them ".
Dail
I think the Sheridan family doesn't appreciate my snarkiness.
There is no intent to 'take it out on them'. Nor do I expect my children to never be selfish or sinful. That is just silly. You know me fairly well and I would hope you know what example I show my children.
If you think I need biblical counseling you can invite me over for dinner :)
Or you just need to read my posts with a bit more humor. ;)
How funny I should read this on the very day I lectured my 8 year old daughter after hearing this comment, "this is a horrible day, I have no clothes to wear and nothing I'm finding matches!" A little to her defensive most of her clothes were in the hamper and they did have to fish through a weeks worth of dirty clothes to find a pair of socks, but still..how do we drill it into their heads that children in other parts of the world have little to nothing compared to their abundance of weatlh and wordly possesions? How do we make them apprecaite what we have been blessed with while wanting to give to those in need. I agree with Dail about how we as parents need to set the example. So often we ourselves complain about what we don't have when we all have quite a bit. Great post!
I'm thinking of plastering the picture on the dining room wall, just think of the money I'll save in groceries.
hey shannon I know your sharkiness & I love you for it!
dinner/ how bout tonight ; )
Dail
The transition for me was harder this time then the two times before. The day after we returned I could not imagine not seeing Matu and Nicot, but was grateful to be home to my other children. But one day my children will all be home!!!! Cathy
Well, I can you what my 5 year olds' reaction was to the picture since they accidentally saw it. It was a good opportunity to explain again how fortunate we are. But I don't think H&T were able to comprehend not eating everyday or not having clothes without rips. It didn't seem to register with them. Except Tommy did say, "That is why we send money to help them."
Kara
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